RHOK'n Around the Christmas Tree...

The RHOK is participating in the Christmas Home Tour over at theNester.com...Each of the decor below takes you through a little of everyone of the RHOKer's homes. Welcome! Enjoy!

First stop, a look inside at Mrs. Albright's:

Next up, we visit Mrs. Sinclair:

Then we hop over to Mrs. Priss' house:

And then, we'll travel a little south over to Mrs. Coco's:

And a little hop skip and jump, and we'll visit Mrs. Edwards:

A little howdy doo at Mrs. Hart's house is up next:

Now, I am sure that Mrs. Bundy and Mrs. Montgomery will have more to add, but as of press time I had to steal photo's from their blogs.  They are probably doing something super productive see, and can't get to the small task of sending me some holiday decor pics. 

Mrs. Bundy;

Mrs. Montgomery:

So, there you are folks! Eight houses in one post. You get more for money here ;-)

Hope to see you back around here soon!

Mrs. Sinclair,

RHNJ: In Tornado Alley

"Beep!  Beep!  Beep! " 

"This is a warning from your National Weather Service.  This is not a test."

Normally I'd be getting ready to watch the latest episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey.  But as all good Okies know, it's spring.  And what happens in spring in Oklahoma right as you are getting ready to watch one of your favorite shows?

Well it starts with a little regular programming interruption that looks like this...

Then it spreads to all of the channels which looks like this...

Usually when you see that much red, that's not a good sign.  Usually a siren starts blaring in the background, and you end up with a picture that looks like this.

The McGillicutty kids in the center most room of the house.

And one of the house members may be on the front porch looking for this...

That's a tornado for all of you non-Okies.

But I'm not saying who.

But I'll be back next week with my regular commentary.

"Beep!  Beep!  Beep!"

Or maybe not.

As the footage continues to roll in and we hear the stories about our fellow Okies, we here at TheRHOK are thinking of, praying for and lifting up everyone affected by yesterday's storms and tornadoes. Be safe and stay Okie-strong.  

~~Mrs. McGillicutty

The Best of the Best - Real Housewives of New Jersey

I have discovered that if you read this post with a thick New Jersey accent it seems to really add something.  Go on.  I know you want to try it.

If I had to pick a favorite Real Housewives show, I have to say it wouldn't be all that hard.  The Real Housewives of New Jersey would win hands down.  Last season we got such delicious phrases as "prostitution whore,""thick as thieves," and "bubbies."  And after watching this week's show, I don't think the ladies are going to disappoint this season as well.

First we had crazy Danielle, also know as "prostitution whore" going around town complaining to anybody who would listen including a priest about the wrongs that were done to her.  Of course in her words, "It's all wata unda da bridge."  She also said something about being not "passive" or "aggressive" and not getting "pooped on any more," but that's where I got confused as she keeps trying to invite these women who obviously hate her out socially.

But I have to say the star of all that is great about The Real Housewives of New Jersey this week was in fact Teresa Giudice.   First she showed us the tradition she has of making her sauce for the year in her garage.  This year she invited some friends to help, none of whom were on their periods as being on your period causes the tomatoes to go bad.  Also there was her family including her daughter who at some point announced that she "didn't want to marry a jew."  I don't think her daughter has to worry about that though as looking at her crazy mother, Teresa, I don't think the Jews will want her.

But perhaps the best scenes from Teresa came when she was discussing Danielle the "prostitution whore."

(Here is where you're Jersey accent kicking in really does this post justice.)

"She must have slept with at least 500 guys.  Her hole must be as big as...not the Lincoln Tunnel, not the Holland Tunnel....What's the longest tunnel?"

Of course Caroline Manzo tried to compete with her by issuing her own Danielle cut down, "You put lipstick on a pig, it's still a pig."  But haven't we all heard that phrase before?  That's not original.

You just can't compete with Teresa's originality, "Danielle.  You put the c*nt in c*ntradiction.  Be-atch!"

Wow Teresa.

You kiss those four babies of yours with that mouth?  Nice.

Oh yeah.  The Real Housewives of New Jersey.  Even the Real Housewives of Oklahoma can't compete with all of that crazy.  It's going to be a good season.

~~Mrs. McGillicutty

RHNY: How old are these people, anyway?

After watching the RHNY girls, the late edition, I have but one thought: junior high school.

These women get more and more pathetic by the minute. 

First of all, I can't even recall what Bethenny and Jill are fighting about.  Do they even remember?  And to send another friend with a message to say "it's over, we're done"? C'mon. That's like a boy breaking up with you 7th grade, for pete's sake.

I'll be the first to admit that Jill is overbearing and motherlike-but most of the time she is right. Bethenny should have done a better job of keeping things private- for the sake of her fiance`, if nothing else. She knows how things get leaked.  You really think that was accidental?  Publicity equals money. Sorry to say that Bethenny seems to be choosing that over her unborn baby, and its father. I don't care if she is blaming Perez Hilton for it.  Unless he has a bug in her apartment, he had someone tell him.  It's Team Jill all the way on this one.

Now, onto poor Alex. She's like the sort of popular geeky girl trying to fit in, befriending the most vulnerable of the moment- and trying to use them to up her rung on the ladder. Add this to the fact  she's married to the most unattractive gay man on the planet, and this has this has to be stressful for her, bless her heart.  She tries. She tries too hard. She's just too strange, it'll never work in the clique.

Then we have Sonia having a lipo consult & taking Ramona to the appointment? Really? You want Ramona's opinion on plastic surgery options? It's a good thing Sonia called in her psychic to back her up on the decision. Also tonight,  Ramona launched a spa line. Again, Jill totally right.  Just what the world needs- another spa line. Oy.

Wait. You don't think I'm always in agreement with Jill because Mrs. McGillicutty was right when she compared me to her, do you?  Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.  I swore she was wrong on that one.  I just knew I was more like the Countess, I just knew it.

Damn.

-Mrs. Sinclair-
(sitting in for the ill Mrs. McGillicutty)




P.S. What in heaven's name was Kelly thinking wearing those red hot pants to the spa launch?

Real Housewives of New York - Holy Sh*tballs! Bethenny's Pregnant

On last weeks episode of The Real Housewives of New York Bethenny announced that she in fact was pregnant.  I believe her exact words were "Holy sh*tballs, I'm pregnant."  As a housewife who also sometimes has a problem with the edit of the mouth, Bethenny's words are a perfect example of why I love her.  Sure, sometimes her mouth gets her in trouble (the words "get a hobby" to Jill Zarin come to mind immediately), but how could you not love a woman who sits on the toilet in front of the Bravo cameras, takes a pee on her stick for all to see, and then exclaims, "Holy sh*tballs, I'm pregnant"?  I mean that's exactly what happened to me when Mr. McGillicutty knocked me up, minus the cameras of course, and minus the surprise as well.

That reminds me of a question I've always wanted to ask.  When a woman tells you that her pregnancy was a surprise, but after being asked what birth control she was on she says "none," don't you then wonder her intellectual capabilities?  I mean come on now.  Getting pregnant the old fashioned way isn't complicated.  Didn't we all learn how it worked back in fifth grade P.E. class?

Anyway, tonight on the show I expected to see everyone's reaction to the news of the creation of a new little Bethenny.  Instead what we saw was more drama between her and Jill, more drama between her and Luann, and a great, big, new rock on little Ms. Bethenny's finger.

Wow.  She and I really are alike.

OK no, not really.  I already had the rock when I got pregnant.  And it was little because I got it when my husband was putting himself through graduate school.  But maybe if I had waited, let Mr. McGillicutty knock me up pre-marital bliss, and then acted surprised to be pregnant, he would have felt sorry for me for missing that informative fifth grade P.E. class and stopped eating to get me the big rock just like Bethenny.

Maybe.

Yeah.

Probably not.

~~Mrs. McGillicutty

The Real Crazy Housewives of Oklahoma

As a big fan of any reality show involving Bravo I, of course, watch The Real Housewives...all of them. I mean really how can you not love the crazy that is a woman dressed and pumped up to the nines throwing a table in the middle of a fancy private lunch in front of her children yelling “WHORE!” in a thick New Jersey accent.

It’s television magic.

While I was watching this television magic recently I realized something. Although here at The RHOK we are proper Okie housewives, many of us closely resemble the current cast of the currently televised Real Housewives series, The Real Housewives of New York.

"Oh no, Mrs. McGillicutty. That cannot be!" you reply realizing you suddenly have a southern accent.

But oh yes indeedy.

Crazy and Housewife seem to go hand in hand, no matter what state you're from. Trust me. I know what I am talking about here.

Oh you still don't believe me?

OK. I guess I'll have to prove it to you.

Luann De Lesseps as Mrs. Nesbitt

Mrs. Nesbitt, as she is sometimes called, really prefers the term Countess. Countess spends her days throwing her weight around, demanding all her “subjects” in Oklahoma treat her like royalty (sound familiar New York friends of Ms. De Lesseps?) even though everyone in Oklahoma really knows that Countess means she is just another Okie wife who happens to be married to a Count. And although the title Count sounds all high and mighty, any good Okie knows that a Count is just a lackey or lesser companion to other legitimate royal higher ups. Although Diva can be a royal pain in the bootay, she tries to be a benevolent dictator, and most Okies love her for it.

(Following me so far?)

Kelly Bensimon as Mrs. Hart

Mrs. Hart is a housewife who lives in her own world, a world not completely clear to the Okies around here (or the New Yorkers around Kelly). What she lacks in intellectual clarity, she makes up for in oozing hotness. And although she has many offers from Playboy (just like Kelly), she prefers a simpler life of boyfriend jeans, Okie home cooking, and writing her memoirs about growing up so deliciously hot in the world of the often televised toothless Okie.

(It's all getting clearer for you isn't it?)

Alex McCord as Miss Priss
Miss Priss, secretly a nature girl and earth mother, was dropped into the more plastic part Oklahoma and the nouveau riche when she married an Okie. She spends her days with her family trying to make things even, but occasionally as every good earth mother experiences, she has trouble with the organic beings sharing her household and living with one of them there highly educated brainy types (or a highly metro sexual one like Alex's). She enjoys volunteering her time, making flat puppets of her friends, and enjoying life in general.

(Alright. If that one didn't bring it all into focus for you,
the next one surely will.)

Jill Zarin as Mrs. Sinclair
Mrs. Sinclair, the only one in the bunch who could survive being stranded on a deserted island, has spent most of her time on this earth living the good life in Oklahoma. Although proud of her skill set, Mrs. Sinclair finds herself the object of evil gossip and although she has been told by several jealous ill wishers to “get a life.” (Poor, poor Jill. She really does need to stop living off of the sadness of others.) She, however, says she's quite happy with the life she has, “thank you very much.”

(You're a believer now aren't you?)

Bethenny Frankel as Mrs. Albright
Mrs. Albright, our local chef extraordinaire, spends her days fighting the social pressure (mostly from the self-dubbed "Skinny Girl" Bethenny) from outside of her Okie walls to cook healthy, organic meals. As we all know, no good Okie has a meal with out a lovely shade of brown either gained by a deep fryer or some delicious full fat cheese. Deep in her heart Mrs. Albright knows this, but every once in a while she succumbs to the pressure by coming up with a tasty salad recipe to share. Despite her weakness, Okies have fallen in love with her, especially when she tells them about her other true loves, the Sooners and posing naked.

(OK. So maybe Bethenny is really the naked poser, and Mrs. Albright doesn't actually like to pose naked. But the rest is totally true. I promise.)

Ramona Singer as Ms. Carmichael

Ms. Carmichael is a housewife that is enjoying the exploration of her newly re-vamped life. (Could Ramona talk about her new look on life more?) Although excited by the prospects of new adventures with her quickly growing children, she is mostly excited by her freshly redesigned hair claiming, “It’s a new sassier do and new sassier me!” Shallow though she may be, the rest of the housewives can’t help but love her and spend their time trying to encourage her to be all that she can be. (Where as The RHNY encourage Ramona to turn down her crazy eyes and lay off the Pinot Grigio.)

(You are now so much of a believer you're thinking of stalking me aren't you?)

LuAnn De Lesseps as Mrs. McGillicutty

And that brings us to our final housewife, me, Mrs. McGillicutty. If you look closely at the picture you can see that in fact I am the twin of Mrs. Nesbitt (known by The RHNY as the rude and hypocritical half of LuAnn De Lesseps). Although some call me her “evil twin” and state that I’m "crazy" and "jealous" of the fact that my sister married a Count when I was so "stupid" to marry a plain old native Okie, nothing could be further from the truth. I love my sister, and I am completely happy with all that life has brought her. 

Of course if you believe that, then you probably believe the rest of my comparisons of the Okie Housewives to the New York ladies I’ve presented to you today. So who is the “stupid” and "crazy" one now?

Not me.

(And now you've stopped stalking me haven't you? Was it the "stupid" bit?

Yeah. I always go too far.)

~~Mrs. McGillicutty