Who's Yer Mama?

I was thinking back on some sweet childhood memories recently.  I was thinking about who different individuals in my family were to me as a child versus the relationship we have now that I am an adult.  As a child, some relatives valued me more than others.  I'm not saying they didn't love me, I am saying some embrace your childishness more than others.  Some relatives just prefer to spend time with a more mature crowd.  Hopefully this makes sense. It was at this time that I switched my thinking around a bit.

When my children grow up, how will they remember me?
There is a fine line between teaching your children and nagging them.  Will they think I was a nag because of the many times I have lost patience over a messy room?  Will they wish their mother had played with them more?  Will they tell me I made casseroles just to make them miserable? I seriously don't think they will thank me for their clean rooms or forcing them to do their homework. I am going to be very honest.  While there are many things I could improve on, I am going to focus on one.  I have noticed that my ability to be patient has been strained and I am starting to yell more.  I hate that.  Patience used to be one of my biggest virtues.  I have decided I am going to change back to the old me.  

I attended a conference recently about approaching difficult conversations.  The workshop was intended to teach us how to better communicate with schools for our child with special needs.  There were so many things in that workshop that can apply to your own personal, everyday life.  One thing stuck with me in a big way and I have decided to make that my own goal.  Want to hear it?   Here we go.
Decide WHO you are going to be in every conversation and commit to BE that person. It is very simple, really.  Am I going to be the crazy, angry, middle-aged woman or the mom who can get things accomplished with love, patience, kindness and gentleness?  At the end of the day, both types can achieve the same goal but only one fills their children's hearts with the right stuff.  Only one will grow the type of person that I wish my children to become.  

Who we are is a choice we make.  We can blame past experience, upbringing, genetics, lack of sleep, health, hunger, or present situations but we always have the power to choose how we respond to them. 

For me, I know my faith will bring me through it.  I can pray for the fruit of the spirit and intentionally think things through before I lose my head over the little things in life.  I can plan ahead and prepare for situations.  I can think through positive reinforcements to get the behaviors I want from my children.  I can prepare myself to deal with the meltdown that will ensue from natural consequences that my children will not like.  I know that preparation is the key.  It isn't about being a pushover, it is about being the mother and woman God calls me to be.
So, when you think about it - how will the people in your life remember you someday?

Mrs. Priss

Loving on my kids like...

Back To School Portfolios

I hate to repeat myself, but... the kids are back in school.   The housewives have been posting about it A LOT here and on their personal Facebook pages.
What you haven't heard yet is how my son, Michael, feels about it.   He is super duper pumped about this school thing. 

Off to school!

Or is he.

Who actually counts school days? This kid does.
Michael has constant thoughts about the free time he loses during the school year. I have constant thoughts about the transition for him and how his teachers will handle him.
There's a whole lotta worrying going on in Prissville.
When you have a child with special needs (Michael has Asperger's Syndrome), you get to meet with the teachers a whole, whole lot.  Teachers love to sit in meetings and do paperwork.  Or not.  As it turns out, teachers are great talkers and not typically great listeners.  I used to teach school and know this to be true.  We tend to be social butterflies.  
About five years ago, I decided to get creative with how I introduced Michael to his teachers.  I make a newsletter portfolio for him!  This provides teachers with a way to save the time they need to set up their classrooms and gives them a visual snapshot of my special kiddo.  It's a win-win.
I'm not going to give you a copy of Michael's portfolio, but I am going to tell you how I make one.
If you don't have a word processing system or something like Publisher, then you need to know that there are resources online.  You don't have to buy anything!  When I searched, I found out that Google Docs has a free newsletter template available here.  There are other options I found here.  Of course you can always email information to the teachers, but I find it better to have something already printed and waiting in their teacher mailbox or handed out by the special education teacher (if this applies).  It will have to go in their file, you see.
The tough part comes next. What to include?
Since your child is the most amazing kid that ever entered the building, you will have a hard time limiting yourself to one page.  Do it anyway.  Would you read a 5 page essay on someone else's child?  I think not. When possible, use direct language and even use bullets.  People like things quick and to the point!
Michael's Portfolio always includes:

• An adorable picture of my handsome son (sized according to whatever space I have)
• Contact information in order of priority (me first, then the Doc since he's at work)
• A little bit about the early years (if needed)
• A few of Michael's strengths (he is kind, he's good at math)
• What we do for him at home (therapy we try, extracurricular activities)
• Areas Michael will need help (organization, communication between parents and teachers)
• Our expectations for him this year & beyond 
• I always, always remind them that they play a significant part in Michael's young life that will help shape who he will be. Show some appreciation in advance!

You don't have a special needs child? So what!  Any child can benefit from a portfolio/newsletter.  Teachers like insight into their students and this is a great way to open up communication between parents and teachers.  You can always add pictures if you don't have a lot of information to share.  Decide what is important to your family and your child and put it on paper.
Even this cute little guy gets a portfolio these days!

Guess his favorite superhero!

Mrs. Priss Helping prepare the teachers for my darlin' like...

I'm also posting this over at the Asperger Mom Network today.  If you know any moms who have a child with Asperger's send them on over!