Let Go & Get Real

Have you ever felt as though you don't know yourself anymore? Do you look in the mirror & like what you see or are you frantically trying to keep some image together that you have created? Are you seeing your dreams fulfilled or are you realizing you have dropped your dreams for just trying to survive? Do you laugh when your day goes totally crazy or cry?

Let's be honest. We all have this idea in our head of how our life is supposed to be, how our days are going to go. Where do these preconceived ideas originate? Is it from our childhood, family, friends?  

It's time to let go of who you think you should be & just go with who you are right in this moment. Perfection is ridiculous. Authenticity is best. I see women struggling with trying to balance the image of what they think other's want to see & who they really are as a person. Be real. No need for outward performances. You will be loved for who you really are, not an image. Remember, there is a higher purpose for all of us. Find your calling. You are enough.

xoxo, Mrs. Montgomery Letting Go & Finding Myself Like...

The Fairy Tale Life of a Housewife

Dear Seven-Year-Old Priss,
Little do you know that someday most of your dreams will come true.  Your dreams at this age are quite simple, really.  Grow up, fall in love, get married, have kids - that sums it up.  
When you get a little bit older you will be afraid to admit that these things are really all you want in life.  People might think you have no ambition!  Sure, you'd like to be a veterinarian... or an occupational therapist... or (gasp) a school teacher.  But ultimately, you wanted the glamorous life of being a housewife with a houseful of kids.
At this point your mind hasn't been warped by Sixteen Candles and the thought that Jake Ryan might be pining for you.  (And why wouldn't he, huh?)  Your knight in shining armor will arrive in a more subtle way.  He will sneak up on you by way of friendship first.  And you'll be glad.  Already you are running away from boys instead of to them.  Relax and know you will eventually find one who makes you want to stay.
Sometimes you will need to remind yourself of how blessed you really are.   This is the life you wanted.   This is the life God has blessed you with.  
Sometimes you will wonder why you wanted to be a professional maid.  Your job will become tedious and you will be tired of cleaning up after every single living thing in your house.  It is unfortunate that rodents and birds do not swoop in and clean your house while you sing your good morning songs.  Cinderella and Snow White tricked you. 
You think your family would happily devour every meal you cook for them.  And why wouldn't they?  You will have amazing recipes and foods that you crave - but you will never make these since you are the only one who will eat them. You will become a short order chef and wonder why you bothered learning to cook. You will never be able to compete with the high quality McDonald's has to offer.
You can't wait to join your kids' school PTA and be the President. With one glance, you will quickly change your mind and volunteer in their teachers' classrooms instead.  In fact, you will find many other things to be passionate about to volunteer your time with.  And you will volunteer with gusto!
The list goes on and on as you live the dream. Your mom forgot to tell you that working for free can sometimes leave you feeling a bit drained and under-appreciated.

What Happened to Snow White?

You will have moments when you wonder why in the world you ever wanted to be a housewife.
When you feel this way, just look at the faces around you and it won't take you long to smile.   It may not be exactly the way you picture it, but this is your very own real life fairy tale. Your dreams really will come true.
Love, Middle-Aged Priss


Mrs. Priss -

who thinks it's time the kids learn to clean their own toilets.

Lest You Be Judged

The alternate title to this post could really be "Lessons Learned From Shoulder Surgery."  You see, it's been a long journey.

I'd like to start by saying that if you tell me you don't judge others we all know you are lying.  Like a rug.  It's as natural as breathing for all of us.  It is much easier to see the imperfections in other people's lives, isn't it?

As mothers, we judge the parenting strategies we see.  As wives, we judge the state of others' marriages.  As friends, we judge it all.  And what kind of friend does that make us?

We can never judge the lives of others, 
because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation.  

It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, 
but it's another to think that yours is the only path.

~ Paulo Coelho

Having a son on the autism spectrum has often made me feel like a mom under the microscope.  His inability to blend in stood out at every turn.  His meltdowns brought looks our way that showed disapproval over our parenting.  You might be surprised at how many people thought I could spank the behavior out of him.  They didn't live my life and they didn't know.

Having another son who pooped his pants daily until almost eight years old brought on a whole new scene.  Did you know you can't spank that out of them either?  There is very little sympathy for shadooby dropping out there.  I bet you didn't know that.  Everyone else was able to potty train their kids... what's wrong with you?

My own circumstances have given me more compassion than I might have otherwise had.  When I hear you tell stories about "that kid" in your child's classroom, I immediately think there is more to the story.  "That kid" might have special circumstances of their own.  If they don't, it's not my business.  If it interferes with my child, it is my job to discreetly work with the teacher or parent to find a solution.

You begin to develop a thick skin.
Then it gets even more personal.

During my recovery from shoulder surgery, I have learned that every single person I know has had - or knows someone who has had - a shoulder surgery called "rotator cuff."  These people have miraculously recovered in record time without the help of pain medication.  I, on the other hand, spent most of 2011 unable to lift my arm past the 90 degree mark.

After hearing my progress, or lack thereof, these well-wishers began cruising down one of two paths.  Some would ask if I had been doing my therapy daily.  But the path most traveled was by those who would brag on how successful they were in their own recovery.  It never occurred to any of them that my surgery may have been different from theirs.  Not even when I tried to explain it.

Once again.  Judged.
And what good comes from it?

I'm making a commitment to shut it down.  When I feel like I know better, I'm going to remind myself that I can't possibly know the whole story.  What you experience is unique to you.  And most importantly, if I spend my time and energy judging others, I lose focus on God's purpose for my life.  Loving others.

If you judge people, 

you have no time to love them.

~ Mother Teresa

Let's stop pointing fingers and start lifting each other up.
Who's with me?

~ Mrs. Priss

Finished with physical therapy & pain pills after nine stinking months like...

Life Lessons and Advice that I Learned and Pass on to You

What a week I had last week. Mrs. M told you about "Housewife Hell" in her post over eating and all she did was jinx the H-E-DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS into mine! Three lessons/advice that I take from my week are:

1. You can't please everyone. No matter what you volunteer for it will never be good enough for all. Volunteering sometimes hurts. Bad. So don't get too passionate on one volunteer position, find another and move on. Every organization needs a good volunteer, and maybe that dedication you have needs to be  focused on your family for a while.

2. Take your vitamins and calcium NOW. I am so lax in this. My precious mother in-law who is a very active lady simply stepped wrong in her yard on Wednesday and broke her foot. She is 72. Even in her demise she has not complained one time. She gets up, fixes her hair, makeup and puts her White Diamonds on. A true Southern Belle whom we all could learn well from! Probably her only complaint is the fussiness of her family over her.

3. My third lesson, quit having a woe is me attitude! Hold my head high. Stomach in. Chest out. I am my own person and am responsible for myself and my family. I love life and intend to live it to its fullest and teach my kids the same. My family comes before anyone or anything else.

Now, I leave you with this poem by Mary Schmich. Some of you may be familiar with it in the 1999 song by Baz Lurhmann.

Wear Sunscreen
by Mary Schmich

Wear sunscreen.


If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.


Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.


Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.


Do one thing every day that scares you.


Sing.


Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.


Floss.


Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.


Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.


Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.


Stretch.


Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.


Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.


Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.


Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.


Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.


Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.


Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.


Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.


Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.


Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.


Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.


Respect your elders.


Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.


Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.


Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.


But trust me on the sunscreen.

♥Mrs. Hart♥
Who will be wearing sunscreen, taking her calcium, and keeping her head held high like

Life Lessons in the Storms

A beautiful foggy morning revealed spider webs all over the place.

Webs that have been there all along yet undetected by our human eyes.

It seems life has webs all over the place as well.  Just as intricate, just as invisible. These traps are hard to see until you are caught right in the middle of one.

Recent storms in our area remind me of how little we control in life. One thing we can control is our choices and our attitude. Do I praise during a storm or do I whine, cry and get angry?  I find my heart very heavy in light of all the storms around our area.

I'm so easily snared in little webs. Fog and storms make it harder to see what's far away, yet with one lighting strike or foggy morning they reveal what is right in front of you.  Things that have been there all along.  Fog makes you slow down, think. Storms force you to seek shelter and trust in something you can't see.

How do you react when life throws you a storm or fog?

"Open your eyes! I am doing a new thing. Will you even be aware of it?" Isa 43:19

I am trying to make these storms a teachable moment for my kiddos.  Beyond the, "wear your batting helmet when you hear the tornado sirens" moment, I want my kids to learn to give and serve. Their school is collecting donations to be delivered to Joplin on Friday. Each child is purchasing things that are needed and taking them to school.  There are ways we can help the tornado victims as well...

American Red Cross 

The Red Cross has opened a shelter at Missouri Southern State University in Joplin and is providing residents with relief supplies, including soap, toothbrushes, tarps and rakes. Mail donations of money to the American Red Cross, St. Louis Chapter, 10195 Corporate Square, St. Louis, Mo. 63132. Write "Joplin" in the memo field of personal checks. Donations can made online at redcross.org or sent via phone: Text REDCROSS to 90999 to make a $10 donation.

Convoy of Hope 

Convoy of Hope is a faith-based organization with a distribution center in Springfield.

The group sent its first truck full of food and water to Joplin early Monday morning.

To donate, visitconvoyofhope.org, or text CONVOY to 50555 to donate $10.

Praying your life is storm free,
Mrs. Montgomery
Trying to learn thru the storms like...